Session 1
The beginnings and endings of all human undertakings are untidy.

A slave caravan attacks the party. The party kicks their asses and takes one of the slaves whom they dub “Slavey.”

They enter the arena in the next town and do some crazy crap where in Cheese runs around with a chest and Slavey hurls someone into a man eating bush.

Session 2
A dragon, an elf, and a slave walk into a bar...

Investigated the murder of an official named Tellemon in the Bloodsand Arena. Turned out the victim was getting paid by cultist followers of Tiamat to kill the leader of the city and the assassins were actually working for the local government.

Much mischief was had in the bar in the form of theft, sexual assault, and just plain assault. The party got kicked out, but got the attention of a paladin of Bahamut, Kothar-ur-Kasis who said he would get rid of the idol of Tiamat they’d found.

Sa’id, Shy, and Cheese fought in the arena while Zael, Thea, and Lucien placed bets on them. Though the battle started out poorly, a little “encouragement” and some straight-up bad mouthing from the spectators of the group helped.

A dwarf by the name of Rhotan Vor told the party of the lost treasures of House Madar and in turn for their help would give them 90% of the findings and free passage on his sand skiffs. The party agreed to this.

Before they leave they notice a wanted post for red bandanas belonging to a gang of outlaws.

Session 3
Lapdogs, all of you!

They encounter an ambush from red bandanna wearing bandits and burst out into revelry which confuses the bandits. They then kill the bandits and take their head gear.

Session 4

The party reaches Silver Spring, a small oasis town. They turn in the bandannas to the head of the town, Toramund, but learn nothing from him because they insist on acting like morons. Also some random elf snatches the bandannas out of Cheese’s hands and Toramund smacks Sa’id on the head with a gem.

They stable their animals and head out with Rhotan to the Canyon of Gothay, where the Madarian treasure is said to be. Rhotan gives them 3 days to explore the caves. The first day yields nothing so the party goes to sleep in a cave, which ends up being inhabited by a wind serpent, which they kill.

The next day they find a large cavern with movement inside. They check it out, only to be greeted by zombies, which they kill. They venture further into the cave and find a room with a monolith and many sarcophagi. The monolith forces a sense of mourning upon the adventurers that Zael doesn’t like one bit. He clearly states that he does not in fact give a shit about the dead folk, which pisses them off.

Session 5

After killing the ghosts and giving them a proper burial the party goes even deeper into the Madarian catacombs. They stumble upon a huge intricate mechanized door. They unlock it finally and come into a huge room that looks like a place to pay homage. There is a skeleton by the altar. Cheese tries to cleanse the room and bestow burial rights upon the bones but Sa’id goes and pokes them, making the thing jump up and attack the party.

After a loooooong loooooooong arduous battle, the former Madarian patriarch falls. Cheese doesn’t give him burial rights because he was a bitch to kill. Zael takes the skull and names him Bitchface Mcgee. The others agree this is a suitable fate for such an annoying jerk off.

The loot is ample though. Within a chest they find many treasures, the most significant including the deed to an estate, exclusive trading rights held by the Madar, and an onyx statue that summons a dog. For good measure the Dragonborn rip the cool door off its hinges and take that too.

Outside the cave the party encounters bandits which they murder the crap out of because they’re 3 or 4 levels lower than they are. With the bandits dead they head back to Rhotan and his caravan.

Session 6

Lucien, Mooshy, and Thea had weird dreams about weird shit. They go scavenging and come back just as the rest of the party returns, only to find that everyone is dead, Rhotan is possessed by a demon and there’s a werewolf fighting him. Everyone goes “WTF!?”

Party kills Rhotan, and takes on the demon hunting werewolf named Dan. No one is too upset about Rhotan because on top of a house, a dog, and trading privileges, the group now has 3 sand skiffs and a shit ton of supplies. They also find a weird amulet on Rhotan with some unknown deity on it. Shy is grievously injured and is out of the fight for a while. Slavey is okay though and we find out his real name is Pate.

Everyone sleeps and has more crazy dreams.

EXCITING CARAVAN CHASE! Dan gets a war chocobo.

The party makes it to the Marrakesh where Cheese, Dan, and Sa’id go to take Shy to get healed and find out about the amulet. They find out that the dude they’d all been dreaming about was some insane world destroying deity called “The Sleeper.” It was challenged by a dark pally long ago who fought the deity’s paragon. They both died and no one since has heard of “The Sleeper.”

Shy meanwhile is having visions of the Platinum dragon and babbling on about shit.

Mooshy fails at singing and sex, Zael gets 30G and a hot elf girl, Lucien gets 50 G and totally smashed, Dan tried to steal a gun and fails, Thea gets a side quest from a ho to find Pierre, and Cheese is Cheese.

Pate comes and tells us that the dog has told him that it is going “home,” which means the estate they have acquired. Everyone freaks that their expensive dog statue can talk (and has run off) and so they pursue.

Session 7
Cheese and Dan go do something heroic while the rest twiddle their fucking thumbs and generally don’t give a shit.

Everyone except Thea, Mooshy and Slavey go and hunt down the Dog. Dan does a good job tracking (mostly because he’s part dog). They speak to an incompetent guard on the way who does not help them at all, and a mysterious gnome merchant named Qilababa who sort-of does.

The party finds the dog climbing into a second story window of their new house, which is being currently occupied by the French Royal Navy. It’s a pretty nice place with a gazebo and roof top garden which is probably why the fruity bastards took it over. The party sneaks in and hears movement upstairs, they check it out and find the dog transformed into a statuette again, thus ruling it out as the source of the noise.

The group ventures further and is greeted by utter blackness. Cheese screams like a girl when something brushes past him, and Sa’id gets pick pocketed out of his last 5 gold and is also left a bill for 5 more. Inside the room Cheese and Sa’id finds a folder with papers missing, and some more stamped by Pierre. There’s also a “babblefish” polyglot gem that lets Sa’id understand French.

Zael is then threatened and/or hit on by a Sexy Shadow Lady. He tries to flip her over with his tail and ends up getting his hand slashed. He and Lucien run after the SSL, while everyone else is being fucking useless in the first room. SSL leaps out of a window and by the time Lu and Zael get to her she vanishes, leaving a cool Shadowfell earring thing. Zael is pissed off and possibly in love.

It gets lighter out and the group goes back to the inn, deciding to tell the military about the shit that went down and claim their house once they’ve slept.

Everyone has crazy dreams again but Sa’id is the only one who remembers his. He sees someone murder his mother and then has a second dream where he chases down and faces the murderer but wakes up before he sees who he is.

They go back to the house and show Commandant Ghislain the shit they found and tell them about the SSL and what she took. He says he’ll let them have their house if they track her and the documents down. Thea’s target “Pierre” is involved too. Can’t remember how.

Also it seems SSL’s name is Ra’shal and she and the Commandant have crossed paths before.

While searching the party notices a fire and head that way. Cheese and Dan help the people in a burning whore house while the others, including Thea who is a prostitute herself, and Zael who has natural fire resistance, twiddle their fucking thumbs and generally don’t give a shit.

Dan saves one woman as her mount, while Cheese cannonballs out a window onto his back, heroically saving a child and two women.

While Dan and Cheese stop dying from smoke inhalation, Zael finds out that the slightly helpful merchant, Qilababa is part of the Thieves Guild and the party should probably talk to him to find Raa’shal.

After this discovery Dan and Cheese insist on being more heroic and chase down the arsons. The rest of the group follows, solely for the possibility of a good fight and some cash.

Justice is eventually had, gold is doled out and everyone is generally happy, except for the dead arsons.

Session 8
How did all this happen in only 2 1/2 hours of play?!

Finally back on track, the party seeks out Qilababa. Going back to where they last saw him, they find crates stacked in a peculiar manner that seem to be pointing in a certain direction. They also come across an Eladrin bard named Kannan, who exudes charisma and sex, as this is a necessary requirement for bards. Cheese apparently insulted him a couple nights back in the bar, by talking over his awesome guitar solo or something. After a quick recap of their adventures and current mission he, against better judgment, decides to join the party.

The party follows the crates and finds that they lead to a tavern called The Cantering Steed. Before entering, Zael makes a quick mention of the fact that they probably shouldn’t go pissing off a whole den of thieves and tells everyone to play cool. Cheese fails at this horribly.

Once inside the party splits up a bit.

Sa’id puts on a shemagh and goes off to look menacing in a corner. He has a bit of a staring match with one of the patrons. The man comes over to him and throws down dice. After a bit of gambling, Sa’id suspects the man is cheating. He electrifies his sword and sweeps it over the dice, which magnetically attach themselves to it. Caught in his scam, the man leaves Sa’id with the money he was betting. Sa’id finds a coin with a horse head etched on it among his “winnings.”

Dan scans the sparse population of patrons and spots a suspicious looking elven woman in the corner.

Meanwhile Cheese, Althea, Kannan and Zael go to speak with the bartender. Kannan gets some history about the place, learning that its in one of the more ancient sections of the city. Zael mentions Ra’shal, but the bartender divulges nothing. However the chick Dan was staring at immediately gets up at the mention of Ra’shal and heads upstairs. Dan follows, as does Kannan.

They find her waiting for them in one of the rooms upstairs. She engages them in some suggestive banter but it doesn’t get beyond that though because they end up mentioning Ra’shal again which utterly kills her mood and with it any chance of a blowjob. After some threats of homicide between the two parties, they show her the earring they found when Ra’shal disappeared. Oddly enough she apparently has a matching one. They give her the earring which flies to her and connects with the one she has. Then she thanks them and flips out the damn window. As she runs off she yells out her name: Layla ibn Sehaine Al-Maghreb. Little do the guys know, they have just missed out on having sex with a goddamned princess. lolz

During all this Cheese Althea and Zael managed to glean information about Qilababa and are taken out into a luxurious courtyard by the bartender. Sa’id follows a few minutes behind. The area is way nicer than the slums they were just in and they guess that it might have been the original castle. They follow a hall covered in mosaics which tells of Marrakesh’s history. How the original people were Eladrin until the humans invaded. The human leader and the Eladrin queen married and from then on the lineage has followed a matriarchal line. Also the princesses are all dedicated to a certain deity and all have brown eyes. As another side note, there seems to be a re-occurring symbol of a black stallion. The last queen is actually riding it and at the last scene, dismounts.

After that long ass walk they come to another courtyard. Qilababa is there as well as a bunch of playing children. Qilababa seems to have been expecting them. He tells the adventurers that the folks they saved from the fire were actually French spies. Zael says that they should’ve let the rats burn and then informs the merchant that they have no love for the French. He and Althea inform him of their need to find Ra’shal and the documents she has. The merchant is glad to help, but for a price. There is a guild of assassins moving on the thieves territory. If the party disposes of these interlopers, he’ll be more than happy to give them more information.

The assassins guild is called the Poisoned Shadows, and tends to leave a nightshade flower at the scene of their kills. The group remembers that same flower being with the Tiamat idol when they were investigating Tellemon’s death, i.e. Tellemon was on of the Poisoned Shadows bastards. Cheese runs off to speak with the paladin of Bahamut, Content Not Found: kothar and to check on Shy.

Before the others follow him, Qilababa mentions that Sa’id looks like someone and that they should be wary of the half-elf. Sa’id, who is standing right there, is confused.

In a convenient turn of events there is an assassination that brings everyone together again and guess what the fucker left on the body? THAS RAHT MOTHA FUKKA. A damn flower. Zael thinks these are the fruitiest assassins he’s ever seen, and he screws men.

Everyone goes to chase the assassin on the roof tops. The fight eventually concludes when Sa’id knocks the bitch two stories down. When she comes to, Zael is restraining her and probably also copping a feel, Dan who is a bear, is growling in her face, Thea is leering at her with an evil shit eating grin, and Cheese is Cheese.

Thea asks where the assassins guild is and after a bit of coercing from Cheese and his huge fucking teeth she tells the party that they reside in a curiosity shop.

The party decides to get some sleep and drags the injured assassin with them. More weird dreams ensue. Annoyingly, only Kannan remembers his, even though he’d been with the party for all of three fucking hours. He dreams about the history of Marrakesh and makes the connection that the chick he and Dan were talking to is the goddamned princess.

Session 8.5
Meanwhile, at the Temple of Ioun

Sandalwood incense clogs the air as you enter in through the side of the converted temple. Inside, many of the windows have been covered with solid-colored tapestries bearing a gold-embroidered symbol of Ioun, as much to insulate against the harsh Saharan sun as to tout the newly-installed deity. The chandeliers overhead and candelabras lining the ambulatory smoke badly, providing even fainter light in this grim sanctuary.

An attendant acolyte recognizes you and leads you into the cloister behind, where even more tapestries hang, obscuring what you assume to be the iconography of the previous patron of this sacred site, given your insightfulness. Looking around you see many devotees poring over ancient tomes and scrolls, copying some and restoring others. This place has been converted into a repository of knowledge and a hub of learning, but seems off somehow, as if the very walls protest the divine intrusion.

Finally the acolyte brushes aside a curtain and motions for you to enter, where Kothar-ur-Khasis awaits. He leaves, and it is only then that you realize he never spoke a word to you.

“Your friend has finally awakened,” Kothar says gruffly, standing up to give you a salute befitting a subordinate. “Though I would say he has much changed from his ordeal.”

Looking over to Shysar you see him sitting on the edge of the awkwardly small bed, wearing a simple tunic, cowhide britches, and a double-belt that girdles a blue-and-white tabard with the head of Bahamut emblazoned upon his chest.

“…” Ekdhrine draws up a chair, and sits, nearly motionless, waiting for Shysar to notice his entrance.

Shysar sees his cousin walk in and quickly looks down, unsure of what is happening.

Ekdhrine looks Shysar up and down. “Well? Are you going to tell me what happened?”

Shysar, still a bit unbalanced, looks ruefully at his cousin, “Cousin, I fear we may be in over our heads…you know not the circumstances on which our freedom teeters.”

“…” Ekdhrine patiently waits.

“Our freedom hinges on the demons which I dealt with…it wasn’t my proudest decision, but for our freedom I saw it as necessary at the time,” admits Shysar.

Ekhdrine calmly pats Shysar’s shoulder. “I told you while I was studying the arts, dealing with demons is not inherently evil, it is a lack of judgement and understanding of consequences that is the problem.”

“Your words ring true. I fear we may have a problem in our future.”

“I expected this outcome from the beginning; be it demons or enemies of Tiamat that were not side-by-side with our brethren at the end, our escape was certain to have costs. Now…” Ekdhrine leans forward and taps Shysar’s chest. “What is our’s?”

Shysar looks down, ashamed of his actions. “I do not know. The demon merely said I would pay when the time is right. At the time I was ready for anything in order to keep us safe”

Ekdhrine stomps the ground, shaking the rafters with a yell, “THIS. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I TOLD YOU NEVER TO DO!” Ekdhrine spits out a lick of lightning as he yells.

Shysar stands up with a roar, cold mist surrounding his mouth, “What would you have me do cousin? We needed to escape and I made it happen!”

Ekdhrine regains his composure. “The costs…” he shakes his head. “I tried to tell you before, a demon’s costs can be more than you could possibly imagine, thralldom for instance, what kind of freedom is that? Or worse, the death of more innocents.”

Shysar walks to the window of the room and stares out, “The folly was mine, cousin, if anyone is to die for my actions it will be me and me alone.”

Ekdhrine sighs, “You can’t know that, if you were controlled, there is no way of knowing what you could do. Your life would be forfeit, not destroyed, but uncontrolled by you.”

Shysar turns around slowly, “It is there I must interject, cousin. For my slumber and my dreams were not normal. I was visited by the Platinum Dragon, he has purified me. The demon has no more control over my soul than you do. He will come for his puppet, but he shall find no easy victory over my soul!”

Kothar nods in agreement, the plates of his armor chinking together as he crosses his arms. “What he says is true. Bahamut saved his life and safeguarded his soul. Now, Shysar’s hammer is for Bahamut to command.”

Shysar grunts and takes a deep breath, “I fear for what I have done cousin, but with my new strength and resolve, I feel we may just have a chance at fighting this. What say you?”

Ekdhrine continues shaking his head, “I am glad that you will not be coerced into foul action, but we still have a problem.

“That demon’s deal was completely legal and binding, while his intent may not have been pure, the gods—and particularly Bahamut—can only interfere with it with the intention of still having a completed bargain, whatever price he intended, and it was surely high, must be paid one way or the other. Simply killing him goes against our father’s convictions.”

Shysar nods thoughfully, “Kothar has told me this. He has been very kind in his treatment of me, and has made a lifelong brother for saving me. The demon shall have his price paid, I will see to it. Whatever it may be.”

Ekdhrine stands, “If he requires a price that goes against your convictions, you understand that to a point you must pay it…”

Shysar looks grimly, “I have thought long and hard about this and I understand. I will pay any price to fix my folly. And I swear no innocents will fall for my mistake!” He punctuates the last statement with a frosty roar.

Ekdhrine sighs, “I can not help you with this, and there is a high chance that I will have to kill you before the end, but I hope that this somehow sees a happy end.”

“And neither can Bahamut interfere," interjects the older Paladin. "It is up to Shysar, but the Platinum Dragon must have seen something in him to stir the heart that had been stilled.” Kothar looks between the two, the air growing hot with his temper. “He has an intergral part to play in the coming struggle to retake Sumarat. Of that I am certain.”

Shysar nods, a white-hot fire seeming to burn behind his eyes.

Ekdhrine leaves without another word, as rage and sorrow conflict on his face.

Kothar inclines his head, watching the Dragonborn go. “He, too, has a part to play, though I fear what that might be.” With a flutter of his cape he turns and leaves Shysar to himself.

Session 9

The party heads to the curio shop the next night. Zael has thought up a plan using his new bracers but when he tries to get the party to strategize a bit they seem full on determined to be mindless fucktards and rush in. Exasperated he at least gets them to use his Shadow legion ability so they’re all stealthed. Not that this ends up mattering seeing as Sa’id insists on hitting up the register when they go in, which then makes a trap explode in his face. The register hit’s the floor with a clatter and Zael considers locking his idiot party members in the shop and just setting the whole fucking place on fire.

The party clamors down the stares and encounters assassins that take way too long to kill. They find tattoos of Tiamat on them but little else, so the group raids the bookcases. Sa’id finds a sleeping draught and a trap door.

The adventurers head through the door which leads them to the sewers. As they explore Dan gets covered in evil mushroom spores that will spout in 11 days on the eclipse. They also find a whirlpool of sewage that’s a ton of different colors.

Eventually they hear snoring and find a huge troll sleeping in one of the pipes. They fight it and find out that the multicolored whirlpool summons shadow copies of the troll. After they kill the troll they realize it too was a follower of Tiamat. There’s a magical symbol also belonging to Tiamat above them. Cheese wants to destroy it but Sa’id, bent on touching more shit he shouldn’t, argues that he wants to use it to enchant his weapon. The two bicker while Dan laughs and Zael shouts encouragement to Sa’id.

In the distance they hear chanting.


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